How comforting to know you are no better than an ant
The ant is even superior
A mess of limbs curled
Under the world’s sun
And the cicadas, birds and flowers
Call you out
on your abysmal behaviour
A lost rejoinder
A missing link
A piece of ass
Or pussy
Sitting in amongst a cacophony of extranjeros
Wrists flung in the air
to punctuate consonants
rattled off like machine guns
dismantle this conception of self
as booty-called
To tap that ass
A shower of charm
Propped up by sparkling anecdotes
A momentary window in this fug of hunger
There I felt beautiful and sexy in his arms
Soft voice in ear
Lips announcing me
A break from the super ego
When we sweat and it’s
‘no problem’
say ridiculous things and it’s
‘no problem’
show your inner ugly
‘The Nazi’
‘el nathi’
and it’s
‘no problem’.
Unattractive, awkward, rounded
Uncoordinated
The boy comes to take you as a dance partner
You are given up immediately
he gestures at your shoes
as if he is about to vomit
When he cannot
When you cannot
Get the reaction
When you cannot finish
When you have revealed
a little too much
The silence
when it’s time for you to talk
He is an impenetrable bundle of amiability
Sometimes gentle, a puppy seeking reassurance
The colonising part of you
Human cruelty enjoying and resenting the vulnerability
In the same sad moment
The clever lover
knows that these moments are fleeting
Charm, sex, bravado, pure unbridled gorgeous egotism
A sense of know thyself
The true centre of the human survivor
Without love.
Love will wait
Is our modern day mantra.