Let Me Be What I am Not

Oh let me go and let me be what I am not

I want to scream

Wild as banshees

Under dark velvet night cover

I want to dance and shake with wild, unknown bodies

Glistening moonlit, warm on hay bales

Oh let me go and let me be what I am not.

I want to be the greys and silvers

In those oceans that move to rivers to streams

That lap at the toes and feet of others

That I used to know but I no longer can,

Oh let me go and be what I am not.

I will not reflect or bend to you

I will be spineless, boneless,

without those bits of things we cling to make us whole again.

And I will be your friend for a moment like the air

A dancing grace

An embrace

A suspension in reality

Oh let me go and be what I am not.

Every time we stop to get tangled in each other

I feel eventually the empty childless mother

Carrying all the worries of the world

In my hands my shoulders my womb

And sadly looking for somewhere to abandon it guilty –

A parcel into the sea.

A cruel wanton husk of a bride

Floating away from you at the tide.

Oh let me go and let me be what I am not.

I want to feel every lash of the wind

Every irrational fear

Cry every salt tear

Although it seems to have lived is to have sinned

And eventually we’ll all be forgot.

Oh let me go and let me be what I am not.